me tengo que
ir
In Spanish, me tengo que ir means “I have to go.”
I have to go as in go home, or go back to one’s home country. As in leaving home for the foreseeable future, hang up the phone, or pass away. me tengo que ir is also the name of a song by Adolescent’s Orquesta — a song about love, loss, and heartbreak that was always played at family parties when I was growing up.
In me tengo que ir, I use world history and personal memory to examine my family’s place within the Guatemalan diaspora. Diaspora is defined as the movement, migration, or scattering of a people away from an established or ancestral homeland. Existing within the diaspora implies loss, displacement, and emigration because diasporas exist as a result of colonization, nationalism, and in my family’s case, U.S. intervention. From the United Fruit Company’s imperialist business dealings in Guatemala to the Guatemalan civil war, and from my parents’ migration to my mom’s deportation, these events have shaped and negatively affected generations of Latin American families.
Diasporic themes are threaded throughout my work. Familial links are broken and contact is lost through migration. Feelings of displacement are common as people pursue a new life in a foreign country. Separation occurs both through the migratory process and subsequent deportation, all while trying to maintain communication over thousands of miles. Even food serves as a cultural link, triggering memories of a person or place and connection to home through familiar flavors and smells, while simultaneously keeping culture alive and avoiding full assimilation.
This body of work was part of my Graduate Thesis at the University of Nebaska-Lincoln.